My Greatest Mistake (Crazy Making pt.II)

This is the conclusion of the story brought to you on Feb 14th.
It is a powerful story of God’s reconciliation of a mother and daughter.

This is Kathy’s Story

Dear Aubrey and Brian,

Before I try to answer any of your questions or concerns, first let me
say that I live daily with the shame of how much I have hurt my two
children, something I vowed I would never do. I cannot undo what
I have done; I can only beg forgiveness and ask that you will allow
me to be a part of your lives again. Sometimes I look back on what
happened and I can’t believe it myself. If I could erase the past I would
do it in a heartbeat, because the daily regret is sometimes too much
to bear. I understand that you would have an insulation layer around
yourself. I am ashamed that I am responsible for even a small part of
that. I understand that I should be on your list of people you don’t trust,
however I would like to someday have my name removed from that
list permanently! I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. You
just tell me what it is you need to talk about and I will talk honestly and
openly. It might not always make sense to the two of you. You might
think I was half (no, completely) out of my mind, but I will talk to you
both about anything. You are my children.

Brian, for you, my son, I’m glad that you and Julie have a wonderful
relationship and she is the focus of your life! As you have said, she is a
sure thing for you and I know you are a sure thing for her.

Aubrey, I’m thankful God has raised you up into a beautiful young
woman and that he gave you an awesome husband to come alongside in
my absence.

I’m happy that both of my children have spouses who truly love them.
That is how a marriage should be. Saying “I’m sorry” is not going
to fix what I have done, however it does have to be said. It expresses
regret and I have an extreme amount of regret for hurting you. I do take
responsibility for what I’ve done. It is not an easy thing to explain in
writing. I don’t want to make excuses. I can only express how it came about.
You were right when you said I‘ve had a rough life. Both of you knew I was
going through an awful time in my own marriage. I was literally in a state
of fear and depression. With [Jane], she was more than a friend. She became
my spiritual leader. I felt unconditional love, acceptance and attention.
She was the only one that was listening to me.

The counseling became controlling and I secluded myself from
everyone I knew and loved. It got to the point where the isolation
made me an open target for brainwashing.

I was confused and wanting spiritual answers. [Jane] provided that
as she manipulated Scripture into everything she told me what to do, and
I did it. With my own life so out of control, it seemed easier to let
her make decisions. Because I was so vulnerable, I did what I was
told, even to the point of disconnecting myself from my children
thinking you would be better off, spiritually, in the long run.

I know how utterly ridiculous this sounds because even I now
look back and think, “How could I ever have been so stupid and
gullible to allow someone to control and manipulate my life,
especially when it came to my children?” What a fool! My Son
and Daughter, I hope you find it in your hearts to someday truly
forgive me. Allow me to speak with you so that I can answer any
questions. This letter is only a very small part of everything that led
up to the greatest mistake of my life.

I love you. I always have and I always will.
Your Mom

2 Responses to My Greatest Mistake (Crazy Making pt.II)

  • Jill Price says:

    Kathy,
    My heart hurts for you. I am glad you are back. I sincerely know how this can happen. It ends up being the lowest moment in your life. All of us have would of should of, could of moments.
    God will use your transparency and confession. Keep on praying for your kids so the healing can begin.
    God is great and he will see this through better then you can imagine. He always does.
    Be blessed and know you have a sister with a story also,

  • Sabina says:

    Big fan with this page, a lot of your blogposts have really helped me out. Looking forward to updates!

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